This is gonna be a long post, and also a trigger warning quite literally (sorry mom) Today is World Grief Day and if you all don’t know the most tragic part of my life here it is. And I swear it will all make sense. So in December of 2003 I was up at Slippery Rock getting ready to take my first finals. I usually always tried to call my mom, sister, and dad before I went to sleep especially when I was staying at school for the weekend which was rare. I usually would go home every weekend to work. But I couldn’t that weekend. So I woke up to numerous calls from my aunt, uncle , and mom. They were all saying that they were there and they wanted to see me. I knew something was wrong. Immediately, and also because the previous night I had a dream that my dad was trying to tell me goodbye but I didn’t know why. So fast forward to me getting dressed and going downstairs and seeing my entire family downstairs. My mom starts crying and I demanded that someone tell me what was going on. My mom told me that there was an accident and that my dad was gone. I couldn’t comprehend what gone meant, but I quickly learned that he was dead. He was dead due to a hunting accident. The gun did not have the safety on and he dropped it from his tree stand, and it shot him. So naturally my life was changed forever, and for the bigger part of my life I was terrified of guns, and thought they should be banned. But then I began living by myself, and entertained the idea of getting a gun but absolutely would not until I understood every facet of a handgun from how to load, shoot, operate the safety and everything else that goes along with carrying a deadly weapon, but never did anything about it.
My dad in December will be gone for 20 years. Last weekend my boyfriend, brother, and friend did not tell me where we were going but we went to a shooting range. His friend is very knowledgeable about guns and actually teaches gun safety courses so I immediately felt at ease. I shot a gun for the first time in my whole entire life, and overcame one of my oldest and most traumatic fears. Love looks many different ways, but this gesture has changed my life. This is not a post that is pro anything other than being a person with real fears and traumas and knowing that if you have the right people in your life that anything is possible. #worldgriefday #fears #love #griefrollercoaster
